Wednesday, August 27, 2008 (0.')
hai guy.. back again.. just feel like blogging something..
something make me feel strange...
someone like trying to break us out. donno y.. just feel tat way..
i also donno who is he?
hai.. i very scare now.. ver ver scare now.. i don wan to give up so easily... cos i believe wat i doing.. i trust her. i believe her. tat y i don wan to give up..
i miss alot of thing from her. miss her msg puting something. missing her send me a good nite msg after she go slp. miss her asking me something.. miss her saying something to me.. i have been thinking of it.. every day.. thinking of something... tat make me scare n scare.. and is very scare..hai..
let me tell u guy a story ba.. a story tat i learn from some where..
it a sad love story... i find that it nice... i share with u all ba...
once apon a time.. there was a newly couple.. they was very loving.. even their friend also say so.. tin doesnt go well for them... they quarrel for a small thing which is: (the boy nv tell wat the girl wat he was sad or wat). tat was within their 1st month onli.. after the incident, the boy thought tat he going to fail again.. he was ver scare.. cos his 1st 2 also like tat break with him.. he try to please the girl.. and thing go on better for their next few month...however tin go wrong again.. cos the boy like 2 gamble.. the girl was so angry tat she don wan tok to him.. the boy was so scare again.. cos this girl was the longest girlfriend he have so far...and he reali love the girl alot.. so the boy stop gamble.. and went to accompany the girl the following few day.. the girl was kind enough tat she 4give the boy again.. this quarrel isnt the last 1.. there is 1 when the boy got a test... but the day b4 he was accompany the girl chatting through sms.. during the test his higher rank manager saw that he was like ver tired..and scare tat he will fail... so the manager go and scold the girl... this was the boy falut cos the day b4 the girl had ask the boy 2 have an early slp le but the boy just wan to accompany her... ended up he was tired during the test cause the girl get scolded by the manager... the girl was so sad tat she cried and ran home... the boy know it after he finish the test.. he try to contact the girl but the girl just won reply... the worst is the this time the girl ignore him 4 about going to be 2 day..
although there is some quarrel cos of the boy fault.. but they still live lovely.. the girl is ver giving... the boy was will go and accompany the girl almost every day form their 3rd month been together till the going their 11month.. there was a time where the boy do somethin tat make the boy regerted... ver ver regreted.. the boy would acctually shout at the girl. the was the first time the boy shout at the girl... the girl was very very sad.. however the boy was 4given again..
cos something happen boy have 2quit the job and join other part time job which take up almost all his sat and sun which was the day where the boy will go out with the girl... after ward the boy got another 2nd job.. this was the time where the boy life change..
the boy will have to wk n wk n wk.. causing him neglect the girl.. the girl was ver lonely..she ended up go out with other ppl.. one off those cos the boy to regreted wat he do and had done...
the boy found out that he had neglected the girl.. the boy was so so so scare that the girl will go with other ppl.. this was the time were the boy know tat he had to quit the job to accompany the girl to not making the girl lonely..and so the boy quit the 2nd job.. the boy keep accompany the girl.. cos he was scare and guilty.. he scare tat he will lost the girl who he love very deeply.. he guity cos he was stupid.. stupid to had neglected the girl.. the most regreted thin tat the boy had done was they he scold the girl 4 the first time.. nv take good care of the girl... neglected the girl.. do so many job..
the boy also find out something.. there is some1 trying to break them up.. he donno who he is..(cos i haven read finish the story..haha) but the boy know that he is not going to give up so easily...
ok story till here... cos i haven read finish the behind de story...
haix.. donno y suddenly the scar from my heart bleed again... mayb the fear is back agian ba... the fear? haha slowly u all will know.. k ba... tell u the story next time if i get to read it again...haha.. don worry abt me yet.. i'm still ok.. just hope tat the worst won come to me or i also donno wat will happened haha...actually wat i wan to say was writen in my secret dairy.. my secret dairy, haha... tell every tin tat i wan n will do.. haha.. u guy will know where is it soon ba... haha...
i will finish my NS, my university and wait for u.
11:36:00 PM
Tuesday, August 12, 2008 (0.')
suddenly feel like blogging... cos i got something to say...
wan to tell u tat i'm scare... but c u so stress i don feel like telling u...
so i just blog it out lor...
i reali feel scare... ver scare.. scare tat day will come.
i don wan to say wat is it...
and i don wish tat day will come.. i don wan it to happen..
i feel i'm useless now.. i feel i'm nothing now.. i feel i'm nobody to u anymore..
cos u won tell me anything any more..
u stress u nv tell me.. u donno anything like study tin u won ask me... u got xin shi u won tell me... i'm alway the last 1 who will know all this...u will alway tell some1 1st.. u will nv tell me... till i found out myself... till i know abt it... till some1 tell me..
and every time i know abt it.. it hurt me... i will keep asking y? Y? and Y?
y i donno.. y u nv tell me.. y u nv let me know... y u don wan tell me...
mayb i tin too much ba...
i just wan to b like other couple.. where u will tell me everything and i can tell u everything..
sometime i wan to tell u some thing u also like nv listen..
i had tell u many many time tat tell me everything if u are stress or wat... but u just nv tell me... when i found out u say u scare i stress or don wan fan me... i had tell u alot of time also tat i an feel fan de... i will not stress myself de... but u jiu shi nv listen... i keep saying and saying also no use... had blog abt it b4 but it also no use... haix...
pls... tell me hao ma...i wan to know....
i will finish my NS, my university and wait for u.
10:26:00 PM
Tuesday, August 5, 2008 (0.')
haix... here i'm.. heart crying again
the pain was undescrible.. i donno wat to say..
tear trying to roll down but i keep blocking it...
i donno... it more hurt..it like cant heal le..
but i don wan b*... i don wan to lost u..
i don wan i don wan!!!!
i was so scare.. cos tis kind of tin happen to me b4...
it the same tin...
same situtation..
same pattern..
same way..
i was very scare..
the feel of this scare was like donno how many thousand of (very) scare..
last time it happen and it took me 1 year to recover half..
now if happen i reali donno when will recover...
mayb won recover ba
mayb will die ba.. haha..=x
i donno... mayb if it happen u guy may not c me again le ba...
mayb ba
mayb...
although this tin happen
i nv feel tat u are a bundle to me...
NEVER... not at all..
been with u is not miserable also.. NOT AT ALL...
hei guy up there... do u tin tat i'm useless?
i feel tat i'm...
u know i crying now?
i cant block it any more..
it flow down..
cant control anymore..
this is not the feel of miserable..
it just the feel of sad..
donno how to describle the sadness..
haix..
LAO PO IT NOT THAT I DON TRUST YOU...
I BELIEVE YOU...
I TRUST YOU...
IT COS I CAN TELL THAT YOUR ANS IS NOT FROM YOUR HEART..
THAT Y I ASK AGAIN..
C YOUR 2ND TIME DE ANS IS DIFFERENT..
I JUST WAN TO KNOW THE TRUTH...
NEXT TIME CAN JUWT TELL ME DE TRUTH
I DON WAN U LIE AGAIN
I DON WAN..
HAO MA?
haix..i cant believe it...
i have fallen in love with a girl till so deep
deeper than the deepest sea in the world..
this time happened mayb will be like wat i say just now ba..
watever it is... i won wan to b*
even it hurt me or wat..
even there a knife pass through my heart.
even my heart is bleeding continously..
even if cos my life..
even if u wan..
i will still wait..
wait.. wait..
and wait till i die..
haha mayb i will die early ba
lol..
you guy may tin tat i mad..
but tis i time reali is not..
although last time i like to play... play till like i'm mad..
but this time i'm serious...
but don worry
i say die doesn't mean i going to do some tin crazy
mayb if that happen u guy will no how i die le ba..
haha
still crying now..
like tap water sia..
haix..
mayb ba.....
i will finish my NS, my university and wait for u.
10:27:00 PM
